Signs


There’s no way to make this entry particularly different or more interesting than any other 2ww (2 week wait) entry on any other mama-to-be blog.

The insems happened with relative success on Weds and Thurs evening and now we are back to waiting. I have never seen real live semen before and was completely grossed out on the inside but almost managed a mature, level-headed demeanour externally. I only gagged once when I first saw it and Ducks wasn’t around to notice! I felt somewhat vindicated upon talking to a hetero friend of mine who also says she gags and is repulsed by semen…my fragile lesbian self may not be such a sooky-la after all!

Our donor – of course, was wonderful. On Weds, I made Ducks collect the goods on her own as I couldn’t face the thought of having to look him in the eye. I was too nervous and excited and the knowledge of what he’d been doing not 5 minutes earlier was just too much for me. Ducks called my bluff the next day (Thurs) when in my neurosis, I decided that we had the insem days all wrong and I decided that we HAD to (which in hindsight we didn’t) insem 12 hours earlier than I’d first organised with donor boy (he needs a name – I’ll come up with one soon and get back to you!) I kind of thought Ducks would tell me to suck it up and inseminate again at the agreed time but instead, she stipulated that if I really wanted to, I would make the call and be part of the collection. So, after a lot of deep breaths and pathetic sighs, I made the call. And he was just so kind and accommodating and no more than an hour later, Ducks and I both collected the goods, proudly (with eye contact) and then dashed home for insem #2. We’re thinking that if this one doesn’t take, we’re going to ask for 3 donations next cycle. He’s so relaxed about it, I don’t think he’ll mind at all.

Anyway – here we are now. 3 or 4dpo (days past ovulation) and back to the slow torture of waiting. I’m going to try and hold out until August 30th to test but I’m allowing myself a margin of error at around Aug 28. Meanwhile, I’m driving myself nuts with a large selection of imagined symptoms – so far I’ve had a shocking headache, bloating, a tight uterus, minor cramps, increased urination and sore boobs. I’m also seeing signs everywhere I go – it goes without saying that there are, of course, pregnant women everywhere…but more than that – an online friend had her baby on the day that we inseminated and seeing as we’re such good friends, it stands to reason that we would have an intense connection like that heh! I’m also having intense dreams…this morning, I dreamed that Ducks was getting married, to a man…because her family wanted her to! What does that mean? Am I going to be a single mum?? hehe.

oh dear. I’ll stop now.

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