changing stuff

For something completely new, I’m here today to tell you about my latest conundrum. Am I crazy? Probably!!

I’ve been working in social policy / community development / community organising in some capacity for about 7 years now. After messing around at uni for a couple of years and paying far more attention to activism than academics, I thought I’d hit the jackpot when I realised I could get a degree to become a paid activist.

About 3 years ago I landed my current job which, on paper, I love! It’s my dream job. When I look at the employment section of the paper, no other job in my field ever measures up against it. I am, nonetheless, miserable at work. I have been for about 12 months now. At first, I thought my misery/boredom/disengagement was a direct result of my intense baby lust and major desire to hang out at home with a bub for a couple of years. More recently however, I’ve come to realise that (and it hurts me and my ego to say this,) I’m just not cut out for this kind of work. I’m demoralised. I work toward social justice / social change but in an era so conservative, that all attempts to make change are stymied. Some people can stay inspired and motivated in these conditions but I can’t and I’m no longer an effective worker.

Meanwhile, my interest in healthcare and holistic health science has been increasing exponentially in the last few years. At first, I thought I wanted to take my current skills and apply them in a public health setting, but now, I’m thinking of doing a naturopathy degree. I really feel called to it.

If I do this, it’ll probably take me the better part of 8 years (the degree is 4 years, full time) because I’ve gotta fit getting knocked up and parenting in somewhere and will need to do a large chunk of the degree in a part time capacity. I’ll probably have to stay in my current job until I give birth too – and maybe even return to it part time, depending on finances after 12 months maternity leave…so this is by no means a quick fix but I think it could be something really good.

I long to work for myself. I’d love to work from home. I’m desperate to set my own hours. A naturopath can do all of those things…and more!

I’m such an Aries though. I want change and newness and excitment all the time. What happens when this isn’t new anymore? How do you know when you’re making bad decisions? More than loving newness, Aries hate to be wrong. How will I reconcile this if it all goes belly-up??

Anyone?

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One response to “changing stuff

  1. Barb

    Wow. That’s a hard call, but sounds so exciting! You don’t know you’re making a “bad decision” until it’s done, so there’s no way to know now. And then you learn from it.

    As for me, I know it’s right when it scares the bejesus out of me, but I’m still excited about it at the same time. Usually, when something is scary (in a good way) it ends up being the thing that fulfills me the most and was the most worth doing. And as far as how YOU feel, you don’t have a lot to lose since you aren’t happy in your current position, ya know?

    If it goes wrong, I’m sure it will spin off into something else that will go RIGHT.

    I hope that helps a little, but none of us can know, so I wish you the best!! (libra here. 😉

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