It finally happened. I have thus far avoided any major hysteria with the onset of my period but after my morning, I was that girl, sitting in the car in bumper-to-bumper traffic, crying buckets, trying to catch her breath and hoping no one would notice that she could barely see through her tears.

The trigger…my doctor, when discussing my cycle and my donor said “why don’t you consider having sex with your donor?” I am oscillating between rage and disbelief. This was THE doctor I had been looking for all my life. A woman GP who prioritises holistic and nutritional medicine, someone who self identifies as a feminist and is queer friendly…or so I thought. arghhh.

Did I mention that she was not at all warm and made me feel stupid for questioning my weird temps too?

I will not be seeing her again. But I will be writing to her and her practice about her inappropriate, homophobic behaviour. I’m livd. And really really disappointed.



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13 responses to “breakdown

  1. bean

    oh lordy. And it’s SO hard to find a good GP. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!
    I’m sorry. It all really sucks.

  2. sorenson

    oh wow. i am gobsmacked by how terrible doctors can be. she clearly knows next to nothing – as if the method by which the sperm gets in there is gonna make any difference to the chance of conception anyway!

    and so sorry the cycle didn’t work – i was feeling hopeful for you for this one…

  3. vee

    That’s OUTRAGEOUS!!! I can’t believe she said that. I’m not surprised you’re upset. And a comment not just out of a moment of unthinking ignorance, but from someone who knows the situation and should know better. How can she just invalidate your relationship, your beliefs, your moral choices, your sexuality just like that. I’m honestly incensed. I’m so sorry that happened. I hope you get some appropriate satisfaction as a result of your complaint. Good luck finding someone who isn’t a complete arsehole to replace her.

  4. frog

    I’ve drafted a completely wonderful (if I do say so myself) letter to your asshat doctor. It’s in that thread over at that place.

    Hang in there.

  5. zoebird

    There are so many disappointing layers of this–not being pregnant, not having a doctor who listens about your very real concerns, and then, to add to that, to even suggest what she did. . .

    I’m so sorry! *hugs*

  6. ~Shanna~

    Oh sweetie…….I know this world is beating you up right now,but I promise that it’s a good place to bring a new soul into. I’m speechless at your doctor, and hoping that you get to feel some joy from this universe soon.


    I am so so sorry. I can’t f*cking believe what the GP said. Absolutely incredulous. Ditto bean. This sucks. Take your time off in January to regroup and find a new GP. oxoxox

  8. tbean

    Wow–stunning in its inappropriateness and homophobia. I’m SO sorry. Especially on top of a BFN–she’s practically implied it is your fault that you aren’t pregnant.

  9. sara

    ARGGHHHH!! This is amazingly ridiculous and i am so, so sorry that you had to experience that from someone you should be able to trust. i think writing a letter is a great idea–

  10. Barb

    Oh my gosh I am soooooooo sorry. That is just absolutely horrible.

    And don’t feel too down on yourself about crying in the car. I’ve been that girl too.. and at work in the bathroom.. and at work walking to my car… and hurriedly leaving a store.. you get the idea.


  11. Chips

    thank you lovely folk. your words and thoughts mean a lot. am planning to put pen to paper and write a kick ass letter – with the help of frog, tomorrow! xox

  12. D&E

    I stumbled upon your blog today and read this post and oh WOW! That is seriously seriously outrageous. And from a woman to boot! I am so very sorry. I hope she gets an earful.

  13. oneofhismoms

    Wow. That is bizarre. I can’t wait to read your letter.

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