Anonymity

We’ve been blogging now for almost six months.  (I say we, because when we set out, this was supposed to be a combined effort and after 6 months of no contribution, I’m still clutching to hope that Ducks might come on board soon!) At the beginning of this journey, we decided to keep the blog quiet in our real lives with the obvious caveat that if real life friends found us incidentally then we’d obviously live with it.

Ducks blew it the other night when she told  one of our closest friends not only that we had a blog, but even what it was called.  She just confessed after our dear friend K left a comment on my last post. She feels pretty bad about it – she even offered to let me post the hilarious naked photo I took of her last week on here…I will resist from that…unless there are more confessions she’s yet to make.

Anyway, I digress.  By means of an intro to our lovely real life friends K & M, I would like to post this disclaimer of sorts.  The reason we decided to keep this wee blog quiet amongst our real world was several fold.  Primarily we wanted this to be a space where we (I) could be as neurotic as we (I) wanted about this whole baby-making caper without recourse or insecurity.  A baby-making safe space, if you like.  This is sensitive stuff and we’re fully aware that not everyone in our peer group is interested in kids and baby-making, nor the intricacies and craziness that my obsession affords us.  We also felt that by keeping this blog on the down-low, that we wouldn’t have to moderate or restrict our conversation, ideas, thoughts, fears, neuroses…Of course, all our close friends know that we are TTC or at least that we want to but in the early days we kept it pretty hush hush and we still tend to omit most of the gory details in conversations with our real world friends.

It’s a funny thing that just the other day, I was talking online to a fellow TTC’ing blogger about levels of anonymity and she mentioned that someone very close to her reads her blog and then wants to talk to her about it, which for her, is just a bit too weird. I think the same can be said for me. Having real life friends is wonderful, they are priceless and cannot be replaced. However, this community of blogging Dykes TTC is also a blessing because in some instances y’all really do get it in a way that’s just too hard to even begin to explain to those on the outer.

Meanwhile, Ducks has really been attacked by the guilts and I think my not being particularly pissed off with her is providing greater torture than I could ever come up with intentionally!

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “Anonymity

  1. hahaha on the unintended torture. My Grandfather was like that. Man he could get you without ever saying a word! 😉

    I feel the same about the anonymity thing. A very few select people I know IRL know about my blog, but that’s all b/c otherwise, the IRL people would be all aflutter, or wouldn’t care at all and both would bother me greatly.

    Ducks haircut is quite cute btw. I love those choppy styles. Now if only I could get the stylist to understand that….

  2. I hear you lady. But… (you knew I had one coming!) I’ve found that by letting a few people near and dear to me in on the link to my blog of truly intimate stuff, has been a blessing. Sometimes I feel that blogging is a form of therapy. (What therapist doesn’t tell you to journal?) But it’s better because there is feedback and reflection of the self in similar people in similar situations. For the people in our (real) life that are different in every way and not trying to conceive queerly, it is scary to let them see this side of you. Most of the things I blog I would never say in a heart-to-heart conversation with my best friend. But if she chooses to read, she has a way to tap into that part of me that I keep hidden. I’ve even let our donor have the link. Risky stuff. Maybe it will come back to bite me, but I do believe that it is ok to open yourself up like this. Even though it wasn’t your choice, it may let these close friends into a very deep part of your life and offer the irl support that many of us wish we could give you. Sorry I just spewed like this all over your comments. Just trying to give you a cyber hug and say it’ll be ok! ox

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