I’m bleeding. Another month, another tiny break in my heart.
I don’t think there’ll be too many more months that I can take this without it having lasting damage. It’s not so much the disappointment of a BFN that fucks with you, rather it’s the crazy 2ww. It cannot be good for you to feel that unstable 2 of every 4 weeks.
Ducks and I discussed taking a significant break (like 6 months) if it doesn’t happen by April and as much as that thought pains me, I think it may be really worthwhile. But big things will have to change and I’ll have to quit my job because there is no way I can be there for another year AND there is no point in going through the trauma of finding a new job if I’m only going to be there for less than a year. (And I need to work somewhere for at least 12 months in order to get maternity leave…)
Anyway, let’s not get too self indulgent and pitiful – there are 2 months and a lot of things that can happen in that time.