I know it’s been another week long hiatus but this isn’t like the last one, truly. I may not have been to the gym in a while but I definitely feel like I’ve run a marathon (which parallels nicely with the lovely marathon metaphors offered to me when I was sad and sorry last week – thanks folks 🙂 ). We’ve been so busy and I’ve been so tired. Last weekend, with much arm twisting from Ducks dad (who is a coffee roaster) we reluctantly agreed to run a coffee cart at the Sustainable Living Festival – I don’t think I’ve ever worked sooooooo hard in my life. There are people who spend their lives going from festival to festival making coffee, my hat goes off to them. 3 x 14hour days standing on concrete…that is damn hard work and I don’t plan on doing it again. Anyway, festival over and without a moment for a breath, I had a horrific submission to get in for my real job this week. No time to recover, no days in-between, no sleep ins – just hit the ground running and don’t stop until it’s over… and thank the stars, today it’s over! I stayed in bed until 9am and have spent the rest of the day trying to shape some semblance of order into this house.
Since the blood started flowing last week I’ve been thinking loads about a plan of attack. I know something isn’t right but I’m also positive it won’t be too hard to fix it. I found an awesome osteopath who is fixing my neck once and for all. She’s so cool and she knows stacks about fertility and specialises in pregnancy and newborns. She agrees with me that despite a good, low, stable TSH reading, I’m still in a bit of thyroid trouble and is pissed off that western medicine can’t see that. I have ridiculously low temps both pre and post ovulation and I’ve gotta get that fixed. I’m positive I’ve got a progesterone problem and so is osteo girl and my TCM friends. I sensed the low progesterone thing a couple of months ago and started myself on vitex at the recommendation of a couple of online folk but I realise now that I’ve gotta stop with all the self diagnosing/prescribing. And I’ve gotta stop with the 17 different modalities of health care. I’ve decided to stick with the acupuncture but lay off the chinese herbs (which osteo girl thinks are sometimes too strong for ttc) and next week I’m going to a fertility naturopath to hear what she makes of this sorry state of affairs. I’m sure she’s going to freak when she hears how much stuff (tinctures, chinese herbs, vitamins, minerals, teas…) I’m taking. I’m also going to go to any doctor I can get into on Monday and demand some hormone testing! Because regardless of what they think, it’s my right to know what’s going on with my body. Yeah.
This has all come about because I had another mini meltdown after the hard weekends work. At my most dramatic I told Ducks that I didn’t even want a baby anymore. At my least dramatic, I was silent for hours which is not like me at all.
Imagine my despair when I realised that our insem dates for this month coincided with our donors partner’s major surgery!!! Once again however, he has proved himself the true star and is happy to make a couple of donations the 2 days prior to the surgery, just not on the day. It might make us a teeny tiny bit early but I’m not too worried. How lucky am I!!???
We’re going to Bali in May and I WILL be pregnant by then. OK.