Ducks and I have a dilemma. Technically speaking, we’ve had this dilemma for about 6 years now. Our dilemmas has a name. It’s Millicent. She’s our very naughty tortoiseshell kitty. Our dilemma came into our lives when I was in a pretty low spot and insanely thought that a cute little kitten would be the answer to all my problems. Prior to the insanity, I didn’t even like cats but we did already have our bouncy puppy, Jemima. Both Jemima and Millicent were adopted – M was a stray kitten at a lost pets home and J was about 2 and could no longer be cared for by her 1st Mummy. Both J and M were hard work from the start. The difference is that J is now a delight and M still shows no sign of improvement. She’s always grumpy. rarely shows us any love, swipes, hisses and spits at us when we try to get close, often smashes our glassware, is generally demanding and is really aggressive towards other animals. (The pics above are typical. I wanted to take a photo but the minute I got close, she swiped and hissed at me!)
When our ragdoll kitten Nina came to live with us we thought she may have been the answer to chilling M out a bit. WRONG! Instead, M gained a new punching bag and poor N is constantly being beaten up. In the last 12 months, it has gotten a lot worse and Nina has been having some serious health and anxiety issues as a result.
Meanwhile, J and N are best friends. They adore each other. We adore them too.
So, it’s time to get serious. Ducks and I are having conversations about re-homing M. We don’t want to have these conversations. We’ve had them before and each time we’ve had them, suddenly M’s behaviour has improved. But the reality is, the overall picture is not good. M is aggressive and causing us all distress. She needs to be an only child and we simply cannot offer her that kind of family configuration.
But how do you re-home a kitty who you’ve spoken only ill of over the last 6 years? None of our friends will want her. They know better. And if we take her to a shelter, she’ll probably get put down.
It’s horrible. We do love her. The times when we think she’s missing are always anxiety ridden – we couldn’t bare to lose her but we just can’t keep her anymore. We have to think about the greater picture here. I never really understood why people got rid of their pets before having children, but if there are other M’s out there, then I’m no longer shocked or judgmental.
I’ve made my decision, but Ducks is yet to really come around. She’s much more into the pets generally than I am so it’s going to take a bit to convince her.
In the meantime, anyone want a 6yo tortoiseshell named Millicent? Would suit professional couple with small garden and no children.
PLUMP 
Wow, that’s such a difficult situation. 😦 I’m sorry. Have you talked to your vet about her? Sometimes they can suggest medical reasons for the animals’ problems, sometimes they know behavioral stuff (but not always – feel free to contact me if you want more info on training etc or question their advice), and sometimes they know just the right homes for animals.
Just a thought. ARE there treats you can give M that she really likes? If there are, I could talk you through some POSSIBLE solutions training wise if you find that you can’t find a home for her or can’t give her up.
xoxo
/see, i saw that super awesome extremely exciting and wonderful recent posting and it lead me to read more of your blog and then i saw this and for some reason felt compelled to comment…..i guess b/c now you really may need to motivate her to another location soon, so…..
If your neighborhood is conducive to it, have you considered turning her into an outdoor cat? She may not take to it, but I have had many outside-only cats in the past – and my indoor cats always want to be outside, (particularly in spring.)
Not cleaning the litter box encourages their desire to go out if they aren’t interested in the beginning! I start with opening the windows so they are really used to the outside smells, then letting them out with me for short periods of time, eventually they are out almost as much as they are in.
It might give her some other places to vent her rage, if nothing else.