I’ve really felt disconnected from myself and everything and everyone else since those magical pink lines appeared almost two weeks ago. I’ve barely felt like blogging and have hardly even paid attention to the rest of the blogging world. So many of us seem to retreat from blogging once that BFP is achieved and I understand why now. I am nonetheless, back on the wagon!
The debilitating fear of which I’ve been writing is finally less debilitating and the chunks of time where I’m not a nervous wreck are increasing. There are even moments of complete joy, which is so very welcome. Still though, this is slow time. 5 weeks, 4 days.
Ducks has been the most wonderful and supportive partner that a girl could wish for. She says she knows that everything is going to be ok and she’s treating me like royalty. She’s so motivated and is trying really hard to make this time special. A few days after the BFP, she brought home a pregnancy cook book. It’s so typically Ducks that the only pregnancy book she’s bought herself relates to food! I really had to giggle when I saw it – she’s the sort who can always be found in the cookery section of major book shops – lost Ducks? Have you checked the cook books? It’s almost pathological. Anyway, the recipes are pretty good and she’s been so diligent in trying recipes that won’t make me nauseous. Green beans, great! Pears, not so much.
Not only has she become an enthusiastic cook but she’s barely letting me do any housework either. Last night as she buzzed around cleaning up after dinner, doing laundry, attending to the animals, she meekly asked me to sort the socks. My one job for the evening involved sitting on the couch, watching crap tv and pairing up socks. I am spoilt. I got so lucky when I found her. She’s a keeper and I’m so honoured that she wants to keep me too especially given some of my very ordinary behaviour of late.
So, a quick symptom check
- tired beyond belief – but not everyday.
- nausea and reflux – most days, but no vomiting yet.
- stuffy nose – every morning and usually again by the end of the day.
- momentary twinges and pains in my uterus – every day, often.
- low level ovarian cramps – every few days, in the evening.
- sore boobs – sometimes, this is a strange one. at times I cannot stand the pain and other times, I can slap them around without consequence.
- peeing – lots!
- moodswings – some days, but no tears yet.
- early morning insomnia! – I love lying wide awake from 4am to 6am – it’s especially great when I have to get up at 6.30!
As strange as it may sound, I’m looking forward to the onset of vomiting. I think it’ll help to ease my fears a bit!