It’s lucky I’ve got Tiff to keep me in line. I lost my blogging mojo for a minute there and until I received a little comment from her to that effect, I was thinking that maybe I was over blogging for good.
All is going well in pregnancy land. People tell me I’m glowing and I have a cute tummy. We finally had our ultrasound on Monday and Squeak is a very big, very healthy, very active little boy. He’s so big in fact, that the tech asked me several times if I was sure of conception dates. She clearly hadn’t worked out that Ducks was my partner and it was only when I said ‘yes, he’s donor conceived’ that she stopped asking. I’m hoping his size is a good thing and means he’ll come a little early.
I’d be lying if I said that Ducks and I didn’t have a little bit of disappointment when we heard that Squeak has boy bits. Both of us wanted a girl but I was pretty sure he’d be a boy. The odds of fresh sperm/donor conceived babes being girls aren’t hot. Nonetheless, Ducks thought he was a girl. I felt pretty privileged and indulgent to even honour the disappointment we felt but am glad now that we did indulge. We spent 24hours letting it all sink in and and we’re now excited about choosing a boys name and raising an evolved, emotionally intelligent, feminist boy/man. Most of my apprehension came from fear and I’m glad for the opportunity to process that properly. And besides, it’s not that we didn’t want a boy, it’s just that we did want a girl…y’know?
So we’re coming down to the business end of the pregnancy now. I’ve been flitting around, avoiding decisions and thinking I had plenty of time but now’s the time to get my butt into gear. First task…find a doula. I really want to find one who has experience with lesbian mamas but none of the recommendations I’ve had, have eventuated. I’m telling you as an intro to my plea…if any of you in blogland know of a great progressive doula in Melbourne, I want to know about her!!! I’m scared if I don’t book soon, I’ll be too late!
Next thing we have to sort out is nappies. We’re firmly in the cloth camp but our knowledge is so limited and there’s sooooooo many options out there that I’ve also given up even trying to understand. All I know is that the really cute, super easy fitted cloth nappies are too expensive and the cloth style nappy we had as kids seem like too much work. Because I’m the first in my immediate peer group to be squeezing out a bub, I feel like I’m a little blind and unguided. I just want someone to tell me what to do!
I know I’ve probably harped on previously about unsolicited advice, but right now I’m begging…please – if you’ve got something about nappies or doulas to tell me, please do!