I did not need to know about this!

Like I’m not neurotic enough… An entire website and message board dedicated to the two week wait. oh dear.

feel free to say hi

Until last night, I had no idea that i could stalk my readership. I thought sitemeter was great just because it enabled me to see my numbers. Upon stalking my readers, I see that my humble blog is linked in blogs I didn’t even know existed. I’ve gotta get better at negotiating the blog universe, I see that now. And I will, I’m sure – it’s just going to take more dedication than I first thought.

In the meantime, say hi to me and tell me about your blog. And if you don’t have a blog, tell me about yourself…

bang

A bit of analysis, a huge amount of physical pain, bleeding as though I’ve been sliced open and an extremely tired and hormonal me suggests that perhaps I had a chemical pregnancy. If not, something else has thrown my thyroid way out of whack again and I feel (and look) like shit. I’ve barely been able to keep my eyes open since Sunday, I’m all puffy and my psoriasis has flared up big-time. I’ve thrown some extra vitamins into my ridiculous thyroid regime and am really hoping they’ll get me back on track fast. At the moment though, the countdown to Christmas is travelling at snails pace. Bring on my 3 weeks annual leave!

Ducks put in her resignation and despite a fear it would lead them to treat her even worse than they had previously, it’s resulted in just the opposite. They were genuinely disappointed and begged her to stick around until they find someone to replace her in the new year. She’s still taking 3 weeks leave over Christmas/New Year with me but she’ll go back part time after that until they find her replacement. Meanwhile, they’ve started making comments that suggests they’re regretful of the bad treatment they’ve given her. Which is good on one level and appalling that they are aware of their behaviour and still let it happen, on another. I know she’s not thrilled about going back in the new year but I’m happy to have the assured income because I’m a little bit freaked out about the money situation.

And I had my interview for Naturopathy on Monday – it was great and they offered me a place on-the-spot. Now I just have to decide if I really want to do it. But that’s a discussion for another day.

New beginnings

Ducks has just left for work. Today, she’s handing in her 4 weeks notice. I wrote her a great resignation letter last night. She won’t be returning to that workplace after Christmas. Aside from having to put up with some of the most power hungry bosses in the world, Ducks has realised that working in a small studio environment (she’s a graphic designer) is not for her. Before she took this job she was making reasonable money doing freelance work and she was really happy. So, unless an AMAZING dream job comes up she’s going back to freelance and she’s going to work HARD at building up a great business and generating a solid income. It’s a risky decision considering that a baby is on the near horizon but she was so miserable – no money or job security is worth that. And since she made the decision, she’s a new person. She’s so much more available and so much more excited about babymaking. I’m really happy for her and for us.

And I have my interview for naturopathy today. And we have a new government. It really is the dawning of a new day here at camp plump!

Ding Dong the witch is dead!

I am running off to drop a friend at the airport but I just had to take a quick opportunity to say HE’S GONE! Midway through the Women’s Circus performance last night the MC announced his downfall and the room erupted in cheers and screams. It was a wonderful energy and an amazing way to hear the fantastic news.

And because I wasn’t pregnant, I got to celebrate over a couple of glasses of red which was rather a treat. Today is a great day!

no more straw to clutch – 4.29pm

I’m bleeding. And relieved. Poor Ducks seems really disappointed. She’s made some big life decisions (about which I’ll tell you another time) this weekend that have really put her in a great head space for baby making.

For now, I’m happy to be out of limbo and thankful that I can step away from googling all my imaginary symptoms AND that it’s only 2 weeks until we can do this all again.

4pm update

Still no blood though I’m convinced it’ll be here anytime now. I’m feeling a bit crampy and going to the toilet every 5 minutes. Poor Ducks, who I earlier accused of not being invested enough in this TTC caper is now on edge and asking me every half hour if I have ‘any news.’

On the off chance that I am pregnant, the chance of the pregnancy remaining viable is pretty slim. From what I can figure (thanks google), the later that implantation occurs, the more likely you are to have a miscarriage. My hypothetical implantation would have been around day 12 which gives me an 85% chance of losing the pregnancy so I’m really trying not to get excited on any level.

Not long now until the election results start rolling in. I’m getting nervous now. Please tell me that the polls cannot be that wrong??

torture

You can imagine what’s going on in my head now that it’s been more than 24 hours since the cramps and spotting came and went…and still no period. I don’t want to be having these thoughts. It’s 14dpo. But maybe it’s only 13dpo. I did seem to have EWCM for a really long time this month – I certainly still had it on the day after I thought that I’d ovulated. And the acupuncture I had would have assisted implantation….

This is so not fun. I’m sure I will have streaming blood before the day is out.

The upside is that John Howard is leaving today! WooHoo. And, if I get my period, I will soooo be having a glass of wine or 3 to celebrate the mans demise. And we’re going to see the Women’s Circus tonight. Life may be a little torturous right now, but it really ain’t all that bad.

13dpo, out

Negative on the super sensitive HPT and now cramps and spotting. I think we can officially say I’m out. I’m not super devastated but I sure am pre-menstrual and teary.

crazy making

I am officially not coping. I have bad nausea and if I’m not nauseous I have horrible reflux. My boobs are the size of watermelons. I’m really absent minded. I’m teary. I’m tired but I can’t sleep. I have completely lost my zen and my imaginary symptoms are rife. Oh dear. I’m going to try and hold out from testing until Saturday – which is when I think my period may come.

I’ve got an acupuncture appointment this afternoon. God I hope it helps.

Wish me luck.